Links I love is a series of posts dedicated to share valuable information in the form of articles, podcasts, or videos that I find on the web. I am constantly reading new books, watching videos, or listening to podcasts, and when I find something worth sharing, I’ll be sure to show it to you here. That way we can open up the conversation with each other, and hopefully it can help you in someway. When I watched this video of Oprah’s letter to her young self; I knew that I had to discuss this topic with you. Self-love is a very important subject that needs a lot more attention than it gets.
We live in a time when expectations have surpassed reality. As women, we’re expected to be a certain way, act, behave, dress and even look a certain way. If not, we simply aren’t accepted into societal standards. Women are under constant pressure to meet all sort of expectations, which are set by things like magazines, social media, and television. As a result, we begin to compare ourselves to other people’s looks and lives, which makes us develop an insecurity with who we are. This insecurity is translated into judgement of our self-image. This judgement creates a negative pattern that leads us into a dissatisfaction with who we are. Consequently, we end up conditioning our brain to pick ourselves apart every time we look in the mirror, whether consciously or unconsciously.
In this 6 minute video Oprah wrote a letter to her younger self, which focuses on self-love. From this video, the lessons that stood out to me the most were:
“Relax, everything is going to be okay”
Worrying is helpful if it allows us to take productive action towards a situation. But spending valuable time worrying about things we cannot influence is an unfortunate thought pattern that we tend to get stuck in. Worrying only creates anxiety. Constant anxiety triggers other negative emotions that enable us to act as our true self. The best way to tackle constant worry is to ask ourselves if the problem is solvable, accept uncertainty, focus on the present, and try to be self-aware when it occurs.
“See yourself with your own eyes and love yourself with your own heart”
Don’t rely on someone else to love you or take care of you. Don’t rely on someone else to give you self-esteem or self worth. We should be responsible for that. Accept who you are, the good and the bad. Love and take care of yourself, because if you don’t, nobody else will.
“We spend too many years trying to please other people and trying to be who they want us to become”
First of all, I wanted to call out how guilty I am of this one. I can’t event tell you how much time I’ve spent trying to please other people. Realizing this made me learn one big important lesson: live for yourself authentically. No matter what you do, there will ALWAYS be people that don’t agree with you. Make a promise to yourself right now to stop seeking other people’s approval. Live life your way. Once you do that you’ll find that you never needed it in the first place. So step up and don’t be afraid to be your authentic self, as long as you don’t hurt nor disrespect anyone.
“Believe in the power of a greater force that will guide you in life. This force will lead you towards where you’re supposed to be, as long as you continue to work hard and remain a good person”
Whether you’re religious or not, I’m sure you can relate to the analogy I’m about to tell you. A flower never ever spends its time worrying about tomorrow, it just grows. And how does it grow? Because the universe knows what its correct cycle should be. As humans, we should continue to work hard and make a difference, but additional to that, the universe will manifest itself through us by guiding us through our correct cycle and path. Now this doesn’t mean that we get to sit on the couch all day and wait for life to happen, but it means that this greater force will guide us in life towards where we are meant to be.
Make sure that you download your FREE Oprah’s Advice to Younger Self Reference Guide! It will help you follow along with what you’re learning on this post as well as map out your thoughts. If you’re already subscribed to She Became Fearless, the workbook is located in the She Became Fearless Library of FREE resources. If you’re not subscribed, sign up below and you’ll receive immediate access!
“You will find fulfillment in finding that there’s a higher calling for you; your purpose”
In order to find fulfillment in life we must find a calling greater than our daily task. Whether we find happiness in expressing our creativity a certain way, or creating something, or helping others; we must find that fulfillment. That fulfillment doesn’t need to be something large, it could be as simple as creating and attending your own garden. Otherwise life could turn out to be a robotic routine that will make us go stale. We must infuse it with a purpose. This purpose will give us passion.
“A few regrets mean a life well lived”
Although I agree with this for the most part, I do believe that regrets are almost impossible to avoid. Everyone slips out and makes mistakes, even the best people. What I think Oprah means here is 2 things. First, all of our mistakes are lessons as long as we learned from them and don’t repeat them. Second, she is encouraging us to become fearless and follow our gut. That will allow us to live a life with no regret. We don’t want to be 80 years old and wonder “what if I went for it.”
“Success was a process and we must move with its flow; this will be your greatest achievement”
We all want success because we believe that, once achieved, it will bring us happiness. We want to feel emotions and we believe that by achieving success, we will feel those happy emotions. However, life is unpredictable and many curveballs can be thrown at us, even once we achieve that success. It is simply impossible to be problem-less. So instead of only waiting to arrive to our final destination of success, we should enjoy the journey that leads to it. Enjoy the little achievements that come with it by celebrating the small moments and milestones we accomplish. Because what will happen once we actually reach that success we always wished for? We will set new goals, new standards, new wants and expectations for ourselves. It’s human nature.
Click here to watch Oprah’s 6 minute video, I know that you’ll enjoy it as much as I did!
I also think you’ll also enjoy reading: 6 Secrets of Women Who Master Work Life Balance (Includes Free Planner)
If you found that this post brought some kind of value into your life, make sure you share it with your friends on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram or just shoot an email to a friend and let them know you enjoyed this specific post. Encourage them to join the #SheBecameFearless community.
One more thing! Remember… go out there and be Fearless! No matter what you set your mind to, YOU CAN DO IT! Did you download my free e-book yet? I know that you’ll love it!
Do you have any tips on self-love? Any stories you want to share that we may relate to?
Much love,
Great post! These are all lessons that women – and men- should remember. I definitely have a hard time finding self-worth within and not from other people, but I’ve gotten better. It’s a journey.
-Lauren
You are absolute right, it is tough to take time our of our day to find our self love, but it’s so essential to do so. Thanks for stopping by 🙂