If you don’t love and respect yourself, then neither will anyone else. And no, loving yourself isn’t just about taking bubble baths and getting a pedi (although it helps to clear your mind and relax you) – it’s a bit deeper than that. It means that we are able to successful recognize our emotions and that we treat ourselves the way we would treat someone we love. So when we face struggles, failures or mistakes; we react with compassion and kindness instead of judgement. It means that we accept ourselves as we are so we can live authentically without molding to someone else’s expectations. It means that we are able to love our imperfections and bodies as they are, without tearing them apart every time we look in the mirror. It means recognizing when we need a break and pampering our mind and body (aka rewarding ourselves for hard work).
In other words, we have to learn how to put ourselves first often. We have to be self-aware of our behavior and thought-pattern (as I discuss in my e-book). I’m no expert on self-love and I’m definitely guilty of being too hard on myself sometimes. This happens because I always expect perfection from myself in whatever I choose to do. This adds a ton of pressure to the way I live daily. I used to be so hard on my self physically, mentally, and professionally. I would literally end up burning myself out every other week as a result. What a sad and unproductive way to live! Thankfully though, I was able to recognize this behavior and catch myself before it became a habit. Consequently, I made the decision to embark on my own little self-love journey. And here is how that went:
I decided to choose myself first, even if it means canceling plans, leaving a party early, or not fitting in with a crowd
I decided to respect my body and give it the nurturing, care, rest, and exercise it needs to support the daily demands I put it through
I decided to dress myself with clothes that make me feel good, not clothes that are on trend or are ‘acceptable’ to others
I decided to make more time for myself to do more of the things that bring me happiness
I decided to accept myself as I am physically and to stop tearing myself apart when I look in the mirror
I decided to accept people’s criticism and learn from it, but never label myself by it
I decided to stop asking for permission and seek approval to be and act authentically
I decided to take responsibility for my life, to push myself to grow and achieve my full potential, to learn, to live new moments, to meet new people, and to experience more things in life
I decided to give myself an outlet to express my creativity
I decided to respectfully stand up for what I believe in, even if it means speaking up for myself
I decided to build a life with love without relying on others for happiness
I decided to congratulate myself if I do a good job with something, or if I achieve a mini milestone
I decided to trust the life path I chose to be in, while making a genuine and conscious effort as the co-creator
Make sure that you download a FREE copy of my Self-Love Manifesto! If you’re already subscribed to She Became Fearless, the workbook is located in the She Became Fearless Library of FREE resources. If you’re not subscribed, sign up below and you’ll receive immediate access!
And lastly, I decided to love and accept myself, even if I slip in my self-love journey
Self-love is an inside job. Nobody can offer these inner feelings to us, only we can. But want to know the best part? Well, the best part is that self-love has a spillover effect. As soon as we begin feeling positive inside, it translates into other areas of our lives. The way that it can change your life is truly incredible. I’m excited to dig into this a little more with you next week, where we will embark on a 7 day self-love challenge together. STAY TUNED and GET READY because I’m coming for ya next week!
I think you’ll also enjoy reading: 10 Reasons Why You Should Start Meditating (+ visual guide to help you get started)
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One more thing! Remember… go out there and be Fearless! No matter what you set your mind to, YOU CAN DO IT! Did you download my free e-book yet? I know that you’ll love it!
What is your definition of self-love? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
Much love,
great read. since moving to a different state I’ve become so much more aware of needing to love myself first. I’ve been taking better care of my body and I’ve been doing things for me, not because I’m trying to fit in with others. such great advice!
So glad that you enjoyed this advice. It is tough to find time for self love, but it all starts with little things, such as the way we talk to ourselves, the things we think, and the way we carry ourselves around others. Thanks for sharing!
First off, your site is absolutely gorgeous and I followed you on IG! Second, this post is really insightful and helpful, as I have been struggling with this myself. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for your sweet message and for following She Became Fearless. Nothing makes me happier knowing that what I’m doing brings value to you. I’m so glad that we get the opportunity to talk about topics that matter and to work together, not against each other, to inspire and empower one another to be fearless. xx
This is a great post! Tell me more how do you feel your style has changed since. You’ve mentioned, ” decided to dress myself with clothes that make me feel good, not clothes that are on trend or are ‘acceptable’ to others”. Did you notice your style become more sporty, or girly, or holistic or not actually change at all? Did you start wearing more/less high heels?
I’m trying to help women to look good and feel good, be one (inside and outside) so I’d love to know about the changes you’ve experienced.
Hi Victoria, thanks for stopping by! I love that you focus on making people feel confident. Most of the changes I’ve experienced is being able to dress for myself, in other words, I dress up so I can feel good 🙂
This is beautiful and such an important reminder. Loving yourself goes well beyond just self-care and pampering, and it’s about learning to value your own view of yourself over others. It’s a hard journey to get there, but one that’s well worth it.
Couldn’t agree with you more, it all starts with us!
Oh I love this kind of stuff. Thank you for reminding me that self-care isn’t about the external as much as it is about the way we love, nurture and forgive ourselves. Also, I really need to pick up my meditation habit again. It made such a difference in my patience, particularly.
Wonderful stuff here. Thank you!
I’m gonna search for you on IG (I’m @itsvashelle and @revel.designs.by.shelly)
Best,
Shelly
Meditation! Ah I love it so much. It’s actually changed the way I think, act, feel, and just overall live daily. Thanks for stopping by!
Beautiful post! Self-care and self-love can be so hard sometimes, but it’s very much worth it.
-Lauren
Absolutely!